Im so pathetic

I cant help but realize how truly transparent I can be. Coke can see right through me and it makes me feel so childish and unprotected. Im trying not to be the crazed person that I once was. And really Im doing much better, its more that I have a friendship with Frenchie that Im not ready to let go to just nothing more than friendship. Im just a real attachment forming girl. Coke said that if I could I would get my hands on French and never let go. But its not true. I would have liked to gotten to know him better, but that doesnt mean that I would have wanted to spend all of my time with him, like he does with his gf or that I would have really wanted to maintain a relationship with a man who can be as high maintenance as French can be. I just would have liked to give it a try. I really didnt mean for anyone at work to find out about going to dinner tomorrow with Eddie , Trey and Leigh Ann but now its too late and Coke think that Im a crazy bitch who can't let go of someone who doesnt want me and I just seem so pathetic... and I can only imagine how this is all coming off to those of you who are reading this and have no clue about female insanity. But really I am quite sane and really I am just trying to be friends with guys that I think are really amazing people and extremely entertaining. and I think that some people may see it as insanity but really Im just grabbing onto the people that tend ot make the most sense to me at the time. And I cant really help it if the people who make sense are the ones that I was hanging out with or the ones that Ive started to have a close friendship bond with.. ARG why does ti have to be so difficult because French has a penis!

I also havent told Jazz or Colie about my date, and I JUST told Vicki so its not like Im just keeping it from French... Im trying not to get to exited about it ebfore anything comes of it. AND NOW im just over thinking all of it. WTFE!!! Im just trying to get myself moving into a positive relationship direction. Im not obsessing, im not attached Im just ready to move on.


Sorry I just had to vent.. if you read through the craziness till now you are truly amazing people.